Jace antler's adventure!
by ironfaery
Summary: CoB "One minute you're munching a faerie plum, the next minute you're running naked down Madison Avenue with antlers on your head. Not," Jace added hastily, "that this has ever happened to me." Do you want to know what happened that night?


**Disclaimer: ****All recognizable characters belong to Cassandra Clare.**

_City of Bones_

_"Don't order any of the faerie food," said Jace, looking at her over the top of his menu. "It tends to make humans a little crazy. One minute you're munching a faerie plum, the next minute you're running naked down Madison Avenue with antlers on your head. Not," he added hastily, "that this has ever happened to me."_

"Well, I better get going" said Isabelle getting to her feet, and adjusting her dress "Are you sure you don't want to come?" she said to the two boys. "Mom and Dad will be back tomorrow, it's the last day to have fun!"

"It's the last day to have fun if your plan is going to a fairy rebel where God knows what might happen" said Alec in a big-brotherly tone and finishing his fries.

"Jace?" she knew if Jace went, Alec would come along.

"It's too cold outside" he answered, not looking at her.

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard" she said tossing her hair back impatiently, she followed Jace gaze to see Kaelie serving a group of vampires. "She's not coming over to flirt with you Jace the place is packed."

And it was true, Isabelle didn't remember Taki's been so overcrowded since Halloween, when they had throwed a masked party. That had been fun!

"She's just playing hard to get, because I failed to show up at a date I had with her" said Jace slowly as if it was just a matter of time she came begging him for another one.

"I didn't know you had a date with her" said Alec accusingly.

"You didn't know because, as I've just said, I didn't have one because I didn't show up" said Jace stretching in his chair.

"You know what I mean" said Alec getting in stride.

"Boys! Boys!" said Isabelle zipping up her jacket "I'm leaving. I hope you have fun bickering like old ladies!" and with that she turned around and headed for the door.

"You didn't pay for your dinner!" shouted Alec when she was still near enough.

"I'm a _girl!" _she said in a voice that made obvious Alec was missing an important point, and with that she let the door fall shut behind her.

"I can believe we have to pay for her again"

"As if you didn't know this would happen…at least this time we're paying, last time I went to buy food we ran the moment we had our hands full" said Jace amused.

Alec looked at him with such an alarmed face that Jace had to laugh out loud, two trolls sitting near them glared at Jace, he grinned at them and pulled the knife sheathed in his wrist and started playing with it.

"Stop that, you would get us kicked out" Alec tried to grab the knife from Jace but he pulled back just in time.

"Izzy is right, you're no fun" said Jace sourly and tucked the knife again with deliberate care, as if it where about to explode, when the knife was finally in place he exhaled loudly.

"Very funny" said Alec "If you want to have fun, we should have gone with Izzy"

"Nhaw! I don't feel like downworlders right know" he said more to the Trolls than to Alec.

"Stop trying to pick a fight Jace!" Alec hissed smacking him on the head "We could go to a mundane bar"

"It's a pain to get in those places" said Jace. Just as he was starting to get out his knife again, a satyr came over to clear their plates away. "But we could get alcohol in here" said Jace cheering up. "Hey! Two tequila shots each!"

The satyr gave them a long look. "Salt and lemon?" he asked as he cleared the last plate.

"Sure" said Jace, as if he ordered tequila shots after every meal.

"Salt and lemon?" repeated Alec raising and eyebrow.

"You lick the salt, shot, and eat the lemon" said Jace matter of factly.

"I am not, licking the salt shaker or the table for that matter"

"By the Angel Alec don't be thick…"

But Jace was cut off by Kaelie arriving with their drinks.

"So guys, what are you celebrating?" she said putting down four little glasses and pouring amber liquid in them.

"I got a new rune on me" said Jace with a little mischievous smile "but I can't tell you where"

"Pity it's not a clock on your forehead, so you can be in places on time" Alec started laughing, and she set down a plate with small slices of lemon and walked away.

"Shut up" said Jace, but he didn't need to because Alec's laugh died away when he saw Jace licking slowly the side of his hand and pouring salt over the wet patch.

He hurried to copy him when Jace raised eyebrow at him, he picked as Jace the lemon with the same hand he had the salt on. They toasted for nothing in particular licked the sand, took the shot and shoved the lemon quickly inside their mouths.

The tequila was strong, burning its way down their throats and Alec felt like throwing up but he put the lemon firmly in his mouth and obliged the foul liquid to stay down, Jace didn't look as disgusted as he, but he could see he had gotten goose bumps along his arms.

"Should we wait for the next one?" said Alec hoarsely.

"The faster the better" said Jace spitting what was left of the lemon and pouring salt on his hand again.

They booth repeated the ritual and stood for a full minute in silence sucking the lemon trying to erase the taste of the strong drink of their mouths.

Kaelie appeared in that moment with the bottle in her hand. "You drank that pretty fast, do you want a refill guys?"

"Actually Kaelie, we were thinking that we have had a wonderful dinner, great drinks" he spit the lemon to grin at her "but we haven't had any dessert! Right Alec?" Alec narrowed his eyes at him "So what do you suggest?"

"Well, we have cakes, ice-cream, and fruit, faerie plums are on season" she said smiling, her blue eyes with a wicked glow on them.

"I'll have on of those nice ripe faerie plums and Alec wants…"

"Nothing" he said cutting Jace. "I'm okay, Kaelie" he said in a nicer tone to the waitress.

"I'll be right back"

When she was far enough Alec hissed at Jace. "You're not going to eat that, are you? Tell me you haven't completely lost your mind!"

"It's a faerie plum or three more tequila shots, and I rather have something sweet" he making a face that Alec was sure he wouldn't have made if he was sober, and he realized that neither was drunk but they would be a bit more alarmed about Jace having faerie fruit if it weren't for the alcohol running in their veins.

Kaelie set the fruit on the table along with the bill, she wanted the money before Jace went crazy. The plum looked like any other plum, which worried Alec more than if it had any weird colour because it meant faeries used it to trick mundane into eating them.

Alec pulled his wallet out while Jace gave the first bite after a thoroughly exam of the fruit. His eyes opened wide in amazement and he started biting the fruit enthusiastically, juice dripping down his chin.

Alec finished counting the money in a hurry, took hold of one of Jace hands and pulled out his stele.

"What are you doing?" said Jace in a slow amused tone as he licked his fingers clean.

"You look as if you're going to do something very stupid, so I'm sure you hidden from mundanes eyes" he said finishing the rune on Jace hand.

"It tastes like Idris" Jace said nodding knowingly.

"Really? Have you licked the demon towers?" he said trying to get Jace talking long enough to draw the rune on himself and have him out of the restaurant.

"It's more the smell than the taste" said Jace, his pupils dilating. Suddenly he shoved his hand under Alec nose "Here smell it!"

"Jace we are leaving" He gestured for Kaelie to get the bill and dragged Jace outside. The cold winter air hit them and Alec's head cleared a little. He looked over at Jace to see if it had the same soothing effect it had on him, Jace had his eyes closed, his blond hair getting tangled with the wind, he took a deep breaths looked over at Alec and with a wicked grin started running.

Alec couldn't remember the last time he run so much, Jace had jumped over fences, stolen a Saint Claus hat from an old man, splashed his way through a fountain and to Alec's amazement crossed the street jumping on top of a car. But the best part was that they had being running pushing around people being invisible, half the people ignored them, but the other half turned around and blamed the nearest person with all sort of funny results in other situation.

When Alec finally reached Jace at the start of Madison Avenue he held triumphantly in one hand the Saint Claus hat and in the other a set of antlers, and two meters away from him a group of girls all wearing the same antlers helped a girl find her own because they couldn't believe they had just disappeared from top of their head.

Jace went over to Alec trotting as if he where a horse his face flushed from the run but with a crazy glee.

"Jace, this is mad, we have to go back to the institute" said Alec panting.

"Shut up old man!" he said in a weird deep voice shoving the red hat on Alec's head "Tonight is our night! You are going to spread joy to all the little mundies in the world!"

Jace started to unzip his jacket "By the Angel it's tooo warm!" He threw his jacket at Alec, put on the antlers and started trotting around him.

"Jace! Stop it! This is madness!"

"I know!" said Jace, and for a moment, Alec thought he had come into his senses "We are not going to be able to go around the whole world in a night!"

Alec groaned.

"Come on, Jace! You're not a reindeer! We should go home it's late"

"Of course I'm a reindeer! I've got the antlers, Santa!" he said picking up speed and making clip-clop noises with his mouth.

"You aren't a reindeer!" yelled Alec desperate "You haven't got any fur"

"I do have fur!" yelled Jace back, he pulled up his sleeve and showed Alec his arm with pale gold hair that was almost invisible "See! Fur!"

"It's skin!"

"No, no, no! It's soft!" he said caressing his own arm as if he were a kitten, Alec sighted in desperation.

Alec regretted a very few things in his life, because he was a person that made good decisions, thought them through. But what he said next would always be in his stupid _things I've said_ top ten. "Fine, reindeer don't wear clothes!"

Jace stared at him as if he was crazy and then started pulling his shirt over his head knocking the antlers in the process. Alec stared speechless at his friend's, chest tight with cold.

He woke up when Jace shoved his pants in his arms.

"Jace! STOP! You'll freeze to death!!" He caught his arm, but Jace twisted, breaking free, he picked up the antlers from the ground and run away in his boxers yelling and shouting nonsense.

"JACE! _GET BACK HERE YOU BLOODY LUNATIC_!"

He started to follow Jace, but then thought he wasn't going very far naked in this cold so turned back to get his friend clothes and boots when a shout made him turn around.

Jace was shouting something at him he couldn't understand but he could see him dancing on top of a news-stand with antlers on his head, waving his boxers at him.

_REVIEW PLEAAASEEE!!! _

AN: I just modified it to change two spelling mistakes and while re-reading it I was temped to change the line "Jace, Stop it! This is madness" for "This is SPARTA!"  
so lame…


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